Lost and Alone

It's been pretty long since I last wrote something 'bout my life.... but if i write something about my life in this blog it's usually pretty sad, well... that's my only motivation in writing here though.

I just went wild and berserk mode in front of my mom, she just kept saying something regarding work, how i defend my workers/employee... Ok first, EMPLOYEES ARE PEOPLE TOO! I just dont like how my mom pin-point at any people at fault, I just like to let her know aside from PIN-POINTING all of the staff, just get to the freakin' mastermind! You're just gonna HURT more people with your way of accusing. and I really got pissed when she said to shut my mouth whenever she's "accusing". I mean I know she's my mom and her position being in my life, but blurring that phrase out off her lips is just too extreme... I just felt disowned.

Ok, i'll make it real short and straight to the point: "I'M SICK OF MY LIFE!"

Why?

Oh, I'd be gladly to elaborate WHY! Let me see, I work almost everyday... even on my day-off I even felt like working, and I don't feel the achievement, compliment, the desired PAY for it. And I think I never feel I'll be ever rewarded though with this keep going. and I NEED A DECENT BREAK! ALONE! WITHOUT WORK-LOADS KEEP AFTERING ME! And I never understand why my parents keep on saying I had my vacation when we last went to Davao, yeah that was a good vacation, BUT IT WASN'T RELAXING AT ALL! too much activities and i keep feeling uncomfortable there, maybe it just wasn't what I expect it to be. How I wish my effort at work would eventually pay-off, I mean my parents doesn't offer me a vacation or in some kind of goods. And even day off my mom doesn't even bother to remember it, and i ended up delivering the stocks to work instead of relaxing at home.

The saddest thing being in my work shift is you don't get to interact, socialize with people much and ironically I'm at a "Gimmick" hot-spot from where I'm working. And suddenly I felt what was it to be lonely and deserted. I mean, from my used to active social life, doing stuffs with close friends, especially going to church, doing His works, sharing His words with fellow church mates and even some non-believers. I used to had fun, and I was never alone. But recently it came to a point that I'm scared, scared of being alone.

But I found out being alone wasn't the scariest part of living this life, instead it was not getting to feel how is to be "Loved". I might not show the signs... but trust me.. I'm on the verge of losing my sanity and humanity. and my parents doesn't even get to take my signs seriously. Ok, this is something weird happened to me which I find it disturbing... There was a time when i felt sick and I told my mom, "Ma, I'm feeling sick... I might not be able to go to work....." then she replied "Who will bring the stocks/supplies to work?" then suddenly I just don't know how to react to it.. I mean, that was rather inconsiderate of my feeling by saying something like that. So whenever i feel sick, I just resume go to work 'coz I feel like they're implementing that even if I'm sick, YOU NEED TO GO TO WORK! So I never bother telling them I'm sick anymore. There was this instance that I was seriously sick to the point I was getting the chills and my head was aching like hell at work, it was then they got the point that I was seriously sick and offer me to home. But it was already too late, i was technically speaking half-dead at work too drained to even move. It's just that both my parents are very dense when comes to personal feelings. I hope they'll get to be more sensitive when approaching their children.

At this point of life, I'm totally lost and ALONE, emotionally and physically stressed.. If only there would be a miracle to save me upon this terrible peril I'm encountering.

Well this is not the last of my entry though... I feel like writing more...

Tubbies!!

no, im not pertaining to fat tubbies, but more of youtube moments. There are certain youtube clips that are entertaining and out of this world!



Anyway enjoy these following youtube favorites of mine:

Karate meets comedy:


Stupidity meets House of the Dead:

House Music Collection: November Edition

What is House Music?

It's the typical song which makes you move and groove... LoL, but seriously... it's a genre of music heavily base on Bass, Fast beat, electro dance music. It's pretty addictive listening to it, especially when you're feeling down or bored. 'Coz this type of music kinda cheers you up and puts your mood up a notch~

Attached are the New Released House Music released this month:

Sugababes - About You Now (Spencer and Hill Remix)



Funkerman - Speed Up

ELE: Chocolate Edition

ELE simply means Eat, Live and Experience.

We need food to nourish our body, we eat every day of our life and we crave these food. But do you guys ever stop, feel and savor the food that's been prepared for you? Every certain ingredient has it's own distinctive taste and aroma. Take time to observe and enjoy the food you've been indulge.

Think food as an form of art, emotion and experience. You take time to taste and appearance of the food, when you prepare the food you're feeling happy, sad, frustrated, angry and such emotions. And you cook a lot better through experience, every time you cook is always new and sometime adventurous (adding new flavors to the same old recipe that you have thus creating a new flavor.)

I'll tackle chocolate as the topic for this ELE edition.

We all love chocolate! (well, almost all XD) and we can always prepare it in different ways, let your imagination go wild when preparing it. Even Chocolate + Wasabe sounds delicous! seriously.



Be a little artistic when preparing, it will add the gusto appeal to the food up a notch!


Or sometimes we can go for the simple look for the sophisticated appeal.


If you really wanna enjoy the taste of the chocolate, have a cup of coffee beside when biting these delicacies, the bitterness of the coffee will bring out the rich cocoa flavor and making more rich and tasty, by the way don't add any sugar to your coffee it'll destroy the taste of the chocolate....

Dark Chocolate Truffles:
Ingredients needed:
250 grams Dark Chocolate, finely chopped
1/.2 cup Heavy Cream (Nestle All purpose cream would do)
28 grams Butter (Never use margarines)
1 tbsp Coffee liqour (Kahlua and such)
3 tbsps Cocoa Power (Hershey's Dutch style chocolate powder)

Procedure:
1. Put chopped dark chocolate in bowl
2. Heat heavy cream in a sauce pan, bring it to full boil.
3. Pour this over the chocolate. Let it stand for 2 minutes
4. Gently stir the cream into chocolate until smooth.
5. add butter and coffee liqour and cool it in room temperature.
6. Put it in chiller for atleast 3 hours, shape it with a scooper (small ice cream scooper would do)
7. Roll and toss in cocoa poweder.
8. SERVE and Indulge!!

Lack of Inspi.....

I used to have lots of idea for artworks and character designs stored up in my mind when I was still young... But recently I've noticed that all those imaginativeness kinda suddenly disappear .


Whatever happen to my cup of thoughts and ideas? Is it true that the older you get, the less imaginative you'd get?


Or it's just that I'm so tied up to my work and eventually have no more time to imagine stuffs up?

When i thought of the last statement, i said to myself, "NOOOOOO!! I don't wanna be like this!! I want to be the old cartoony self again!! 'Coz it ain't fun being the all ever serious Mikki that I am right now."

Hopefully that I would regain the old habit of mine and could draw and think of my artistic side again. (In short, I'm suffering from artist's block.)